Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
