I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
