It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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