no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
