you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
