Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
