what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
