Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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