Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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