Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
