he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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