Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My balls are so social today.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
His nipple licking is glorious
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