I want to have your abortion
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
