Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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