sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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