Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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