I'm jealous of your bromance
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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