Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
