Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i need some magic done to my vagina
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
