one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
