And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize