If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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