Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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