I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
