Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
