WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
