i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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