I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
