I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
