didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
