i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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