By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Randomize
