I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
