Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Can I color on your dick again?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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