I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
