i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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