I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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