I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
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Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
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I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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