don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
