You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
