I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize