In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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