I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
