There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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