Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
