I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
