singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
