Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
