I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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