K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
