You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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