Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
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history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
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He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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