I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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