When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
