Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
