I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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