Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
