considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
