so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
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I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
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he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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