i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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